Changing others' opinions

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Topic started by 'Tis I (noodle)

A topic from Miscellaneous: Questions With No Other Home

noodleSun 06/02/11 18:44

Something I rarely encounter or hear of is of a person changing their opinon on more profound aspects of life, such as fundamental beliefs, religion, politics etc. There have been a few times I have had deep conversation with people over strong prejudice and had them conclude that they had changed their view - humbling and heartening me. Both this instances were based around homosexuality. One was with a South African colleague a good few years ago. He was self-admittedly raised in a society intolerant to most minorities including homosexuals. He'd been seconded to the UK for 2 months, during which time it was quite clear to see he only interacted with me when he had to for work (I don't hide my sexuality in the workplace). I didn't change my behaviour in any way but I rarely had more to say to him than small talk. On his leaving do, we ended up sitting opposite each other and getting into conversation. He started by asking if I was gay (I guess to confirm) and proceeded to tell me he'd never spoken to a gay man before. The chat that ensued involved his upbringing, how I'd be treated if I went to his home town (not very well, is the gentle answer) and his experience in the UK. I asked what his personal opinion was and by the end of the night, he shook my hand, saying he'd never have done that before, and that he realised gay people were 'normal' too. Well, to me that was a compliment from someone who held such extreme views. The second was with a Polish guy in his early twenties. He's a friend of a friend but we get on fairly well. However he has some very rigid and strong views on certain topics - notoriously so. He is fine with gay people but as he asked what life is like as a gay man, it became clear that he had a moderate degree of homophobia. For example, when I suggested that I would openly kiss another gay man, he was almost reviled. That I would snog a man in view of anyone else was met with near-horror. Despite this, we moved on to gay men raising children. For him, it was unjustifiable. After what I can only describe as a long and passionate discussion that lasted nearly the whole evening, he put his hand on my shoulder and said, "I very, very rarely change my mind about anything. But you have done just that." Needless to say I felt quite warm and fuzzy after that. Have there been any such moments that stood out for you?

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