Not another straight acting thread

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Topic started by May Contain *Spoilers* (jacksparrow)

photoWhat would have happened if Cleo Roccas and Kenney Everett had a baby together? What would happen if that child had been raised by Beryl Reid and Liberace? What if they'd weened that child on an audiovisual diet of 80's horror movies and 60's girl pop? What if Tura Satana had appeared to the child in a dream and told him to go out and conquer the world?

A topic from Gay Interest: Nostalgia

jacksparrowWed 02/05/07 08:34

photo

Anywhom

So last night Mr Sparrow was out and about in the bustling metropolis that is Northampton celebrating a friends 30th birthday.

I was doing my best to be suave, sophisticaed and devilish (not easy after the best parts of 2 bottles of vino collapso) and during a lull in the conversation one of my fellow diners turned to me and said, reffering to my housemate Lou who was also there, "So, like, I presume you're a couple right?"

She thought I was a straight!?

A breeder!?

An impregnator of women!?!

Even my own parents didn't labour under that delusion for long (it would have been useful if they'd told me rather than allowing me to spend my late teenage years in Ben Sherman and too much hair gel).

See I've always presumed people just knew my filthy secret rather than having to 'out' myself at first meeting.

Surely this can't mean I am straight acting?

Strangely I was quite flattered by my companions mistaken assessment of my sexual proclivities.

Oh no! Can you say 'latent homosexual self loathing'?

The illusion didn't last long. On hearing her comments Lou piped up for all the restaurant to hear "Urgh god no. He's a gay..."

Ahh well back to normality...

deleted:gayrathWed 02/05/07 08:36

 

Judgeing by the photo you sent me I have no idea how she came to that conclusion.

Your a poof to the core.

jacksparrowWed 02/05/07 08:39

photo

Judgeing by the photo you sent me I have no idea how she came to that conclusion.

Your a poof to the core.

Well yes that's what I'd always presumed....

P.s. that shirt seriously kicked ass! God bless Ebay and Korean shirt makers....

chutzpahWed 02/05/07 08:58

photo

Disturbingly, one of my support staff asked me on Monday if I was married. Funny how people can be so clueless....

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