Why do rough women want to get in my knickers?

tezzafishWed 30/04/08 12:50

I seem to attract a certain kind of woman.

I go to bingo (yes, I am a chav) every other Thursday with my Mum and Sister and there are two or three women there that latch onto me on a regular basis (despite telling them I'm gay). They try and get me to come out for a drink with them and paw me all over. One cupped my ball sac outside the bingo hall when we were leaving.

Last weekend I was at a wedding with the Bf and during the course of the reception one particular woman chatted to me at various intervals and we had a bit of a laugh.

At the end of the evening she comes over and tells me that she knows I'm not straight, but she thought I was really, really gorgeous and she wanted to snog me. I politely declined at which point she said that if I closed my eyes I wouldn't know if it was a man or a woman kissing me. I said that since I'd already seen her, I might actually have some idea.

She was very persistent and started slurping at my neck. I told her that my Bf was standing a few yards away and that he probably wouldn't like what she was doing to me. At which point she said that we should go outside for a snog and he wouldn't see!

Again I said no and she then started saying that she really loved me and wanted to be my Sister! I said I already had a very lovely Sister. She then asked if I thought she was gorgeous and I replied that she was gorgeous in her own special way.

This carried on for another 5 mins or so, with her repeatedly asking for a snog (with her voice carrying more and more desperation!).

My Bf, his mates and the Bride were all looking on with a mixture of ammusement and shock.

I then tried to move away over to my Bf, but she grabbed my arm and came with me! She then told my Bf that he was gorgeous too and he gave her short-shrift. She then came back over to me and said that my Bf wasn't good enough for me and I should ditch him and not allow him to manipulate me anymore!

I finally got away when her Mother came over and dragged her away, using a drink as bait.

All these women have things in common:

• They are a few years younger than me, but look 15 years older
• They are all huge lushes
• They all have no couth
• They're all rougher than a badger's arse and look like the 'women' from the Bounty ads!

Why do I attract this type of woman?!!

I wouldn't mind, but that's the only interest I ever get. No nice men ever chat me up and no nice women either!

tezzafishWed 30/04/08 12:53

quoting > "No nice men ever chat me up "

In fact, men in general don't chat me up!

mr.krysWed 30/04/08 12:53

Perhaps you should stop handing out business cards advertising you 18 inch penis.

gayrathWed 30/04/08 12:53

They are good knickers. I wouldn't mind strutting around in them myself.

tezzafishWed 30/04/08 12:54

quoting > "Perhaps you should stop handing out business cards advertising you 18 inch penis."

Which is 3" in gay measurement.