Sorry to inflict these on you - Groan away!

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Topic started by Brian S (hobbit)

photoHi, thanks for stopping by my profile. I live in the Stoke on Trent area and I enjoy the finer things in life such as theatre, cinema, ballet, nights in with a lovely meal and a good bottle of red wine..... I am a caring, honest person looking for new friends - and maybe that special (preferably hairy) man

A topic from Fun: Jokes

hobbitTue 18/10/11 10:06

photo

Paddy says to Mick, 'Christmas is on a Friday this year.' Mick said, 'Let's hope it's not the 13th then.'
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My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
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Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
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I came home last month to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar?
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I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.
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After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing.
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A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, 'Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part.'
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2 women called at my door and asked what bread I ate. When I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes…. I think that they were Hovis Witnesses.

hobbitTue 18/10/11 10:09

photo

I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.

I told them to piss off. Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!

photo:700892 photo:700893

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