Joke of the day II

ginluvvaTue 31/05/05 15:31

Tiger puzzle:

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle.

When he arrived, she showed him the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

Then, he gently took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then........", he sighed, " Now Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

ginluvvaTue 31/05/05 15:32

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Indians had to leave. Naturally, there was a big uproar from the Indian community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a debate with a member of the Indian community.

If the Indians won, the Indians could stay.
If the Pope won, the Indians would leave. The Indians realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle aged man name Santu to represent them. Santu asked for one addition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Santu and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Santu looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Santu pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Santu pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said, 'I give up. This man is too good. The Indians can stay.

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what had happened. The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to all religious.

Then I waved my fingers around me to show that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.

I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin.

He had an answer for everything. What could I do?

Meanwhile, the Indian community had crowded around Santu. 'What appended?' they asked.

'Well' said Santu, 'First he said to me that Indians had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving.

Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Indians. I let him know that we were staying right here. 'Yes, yes and then???' asked the crowd.

'I don't know', said Santu, 'He took out his lunch, and I took out mine!'.