25 reasons i owe my mother

Go to: Forums > Fun: Jokes

There is only one posting to this topic on our Member website and this page runs 7 days behind our Member website. For the full topic click to sign up to OUTeverywhere.

Topic started by Mark M (happydragon)

Hi i am mark and i am 37 lived near sherborne for just over a year and feel like i am alone not many mate around here and NO gay mates. I would like to meet some new mates and maybe something more who knows. Not sad i like my own company and am quite happy with my 2 dogs a this always puts people off my king snake. I am self employed (to all

A topic from Fun: Jokes

happydragonSat 08/03/08 07:03

>1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
>"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

>2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
>"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
>
>3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
>"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
>
>4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
>" Because I said so, that's why."
>
>5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
>"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me."
>
>6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
>"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
>
>7. My mother taught me IRONY
>"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
>
>8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
>"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
>
>9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
>"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
>
>10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
>"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
>
>11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
>"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
>
>12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
>"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
>
>13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
>"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
>
>14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
>"Stop acting like your father!"
>
>15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
>"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
>
>16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
>"Just wait until we get home."
>
>17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
>"You are going to get it when you get home!"
>
>18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
>"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay that way."
>
>19. My mother taught me ESP.
>"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
>
>20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
>"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
>
>21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
>"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
>
>22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
>"You're just like your father."
>
>23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
>"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
>
>24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
>"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
>
>25. And my favourite:
> My mother taught me about JUSTICE
>"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
>__._,_.___

Enjoy chatting with our members

Imagine joining a social network of people from all around the country and see how you'll feel a year from today. You're increasing your circle of friends. You're doing more of the stuff you enjoy. You're having a great time meeting new people in your area. You're seeing all the benefits of becoming a member of OUTeverywhere. It still feels great making new friends and every day you're hearing more and more about the stuff that everyone's doing. You're joining in. Now, that was easy, wasn't it?

We make meeting people easy. Click to sign up to OUTeverywhere and get up and do something different!

PLEASE NOTE: Events are listed on this website on behalf of organisers in accordance with the Terms of Membership of OUTeverywhere and only if they have chosen broad publicity when adding their event to the Member Events calendar. As such, events are not necessarily affiliated to or endorsed by OUTeverywhere and may not be organised by the person who has listed the event: the person listing this event may simply be attending an event organised by another person or organisation and may wish to meet other people sharing their interest in the event. The mention or appearance of any person or organisation featured on these pages is not to be taken as any indication of sexual, social or political orientation of such persons or organisations. We cannot guarantee that the information is accurate and recommend that you always seek to contact the organiser directly to confirm full details of any event. Under no circumstances will we be responsible for any loss or damage resulting from reliance on, use or misuse of, the information on this website.

Our Vision | Our Team | Privacy Policy | Identity Theft Protection | Terms of Membership

Chat and Meet People

Enter one or two words to tell us something you enjoy:

Or enter a postcode or the name of a place:

Latest Shout OUT

Broadcast to the gay world with our public Shout OUTs service! Post on our member website or from your mobile phone and raise your profile.

Chad R (badlands) from the Leicester area in United Kingdom shouts OUT: "Why when you finally meet the man that you wanna be with he turns out to be straight? :-("

Events Calendar

< July 2008 >
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
		1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31

Discover GMEET

Add all your web profiles to the new GMEET.com website profiles directory service. Supports Facebook, YouTube, MySpace, Bebo, LinkedIn and dozens more. For social and business networking, web personals and online dating.