The OUT hospital soap drama SERIES 2

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Topic started by Bob Mitchell (basset)

Been around on here for a while, just looking 4 mates cos I'm happily partnered, and for those of u who know your middle-eastern music I am the Sabah of OUT...old, a bit wrinkly, but definitely glamorous, and I've been called "an institution" on here too. I also have a brain...read my page for the things that I do. Unlike Sabah I don't do wigs or plastic surgery though.

A topic from Fun: Internet

bassetWed 24/08/11 15:03

By popular demand...

Cue new opening music, which is the "Dambusters" theme in the key of G but with C sharps replacing all the C naturals, and with a heavy Bhangra-style beat and offbeat "hey" noises all the way thru :(

The hospital manager is pacing his room nervously, assisted by a large cigar in one hand and a Cointreau & ice in the other. In the background is Small Nursy One, who is now five-star nurse and commander of the artillery.

Manager: Small Nursy One, we've got a big decision to face up to.
Nursy: What's that O tinsel of the Universe?
Manager: From now on, to keep this hospital open - and to keep this series running, I've been told by the producer that we've got to have advertising in the middle of the script, done by the actors / actresses who are doing all the caring, the being ill, and the dying.
Nursy: does this mean somebody who's just been run over coming to life to advertise washing powder, or people having bedside heart-to-hearts having to get out a jar of wholegrain mustard and saying how good it is?
Manager: yup you got it in one.
Small Nursy One salutes and says "You can rely on me sir. I just wanna get out there and kick some ass".
Manager: alright then dear you do that then.
Exit Small Nursy One.

Meanwhile in another part of the hospital a life-threatening operation is taking place and one surgeon hands another a pair of scissors while a suspicious looking figure in a op-theatre whites and a crinkly black moustache sidles up to the chief surgeon.

After a few bars of piped intro he starts to break into the "Go Compare" car insurance ad, but both he and the music stops when the chief surgeon points the scissors at him and says -

"Look...just fuck off will you?"

Roll credits.

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