In memory of deleted:barrynewlife

ianandphilipTue 12/07/11 12:56

It was a year ago today at about this time that one of Barry's neighbours came home to the block of flats they lived in to find him hanging in the communal hall.

Barry had been a good friend of ours who had had some very tough times. He had been rejected by his family when he came out. He was on extended sick leave from work. He had tried to take his life a few times in the proceeding few months. We had taken him to doctors and hospitals on many occasions trying to get him some help for his mental health. We had involved social workers and his union to help with his financial and work issues.

Ultimately, Barry could not see a way forward and was determined to take his life. The last we heard from him was a message on OUT saying he was OK which he sent to us the night before. We had seen him the day before when we took him a weeks food shopping. Barry had no money to buy his own.

We made complaints through our MP about the failings that Barry experienced at the hands of the NHS. Our complaint was upheld and some NHS systems have changed as a result. A small legacy to his memory.

He had a grandchild he was never allowed to meet who attended his funeral along with a mass of family who had not been prepared to lend a hand when he was alive.

Barry was an artist. His family stripped his flat of all his paintings and anything else they thought may have been of value on the day of his death. At the funeral we were promised a picture. This has never appeared.

But before he was deleted by OUT Towers, we managed to rescue photographs of his paints. They were stunning in real life.

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After the awful funeral a few of his friends met on Brighton beach for our own memorial ceremony. A few Chinese lanterns were sent into the sky in his memory.
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Barry, we miss you mate.

ianandphilipTue 12/07/11 12:57

On his profile Barry had this in his writings.

"A Poem ..........that changed my life.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry:

two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of those days is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word said ... yesterday is gone!

The other day we need not worry about is tomorrow, with its possible burdens, its large promise and poor performance.

Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds ... but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow. For it is yet unborn.

This leaves only one day ... today.

Any man can fight the battle of just one day ... It is only when you and I have the burdens in those two awful eternities ... yesterday and tomorrow ... that we break down.

Laters"