Today is one of those days when I feel really down

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A topic from Body, Health & Wellbeing: Health

#90232Sat 13/10/07 22:27

Sometimes I feel really depressed and today is one of those days. I feel unable to cope with my life and there are many reasons.

I have often thought that I feel as if I'm not human. I find it hard to relate to other people, from the apparent inate human desire to belong to a peer group, through to understanding love and the why and how of relationships. Even friendship is hard for me to understand. I like people but I really feel that I rarely comprehend how to go from, "You're a nice person", to,"You're a firend."

I also feel that I'm never going to have a satisfying job, either from the point of view of liking it or the point of view of satisfactory pay.

Life also seems a lot less interesting than it was 20 years ago. There's nothing to believe in and everything of interest to me has been so sterilized and so over-analysed. I like a few mysteries in science and a few ideas to believe because persuasive evidence does not exist either way.

Then it comes to recreation. Everything seems barren. It seems almost impossible to find anyone with whom to have a nice game of cards, Scrabble or Monopoly. Video games are so complicated that I long for the simplicity of PacMan, Space Invaders and other early arcade games. Everyone seems governed by their mobiles, iPods and other gadgetry. I need a new watch and I rather want an old-fashioned wind-up one.

The one good thing about now is the continued advances in medicine. That's never bad and I hope that progress will continue.

I would like to be happy but real happiness eludes me. I have no purpose in life and I feel a real need for some element of my existence to give me a feeling of achievement and purpose fulfilled.

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