"You need to stop looking..." does it work?

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Topic started by Ash R (forwardtherapy)

photoBritish-Australian guy, early 40s working as a therapist and counsellor. I've lived in Brighton, London, Norwich, Cambridge, Edinburgh & on the edge of Surrey / West Sussex. As an online counsellor, most work is with gay & bi men around relationship, intimacy, anxiety, mid-life crisis, life direction, confidence, sex problems and alcohol /drug use. I help people respond to challenges & setbacks of life & get back in touch with hopes and dreams. See my writings & video

A topic from Love, Sex & Relationships: Relationships

forwardtherapyTue 23/08/11 07:05

photo

'You need to stop looking. Because as soon as you stop looking you will find someone.'

Do you know from personal experience if this is true?

I was talking about this idea yesterday with one of my online counselling clients. And we were wondering... does it work? There's probably no scientific evidence to prove whether it does or doesn't, but what about anecdotal experience?

Does dropping the intention of finding someone for a relationship change us in some way, or attract others to us? Or is it tosh and bunkum?

Homespun wisdom or superstition?

Over to you!

#207066Tue 23/08/11 07:15

 

No - or rather more precisely you cannot afford to just drop of the radar

It can come from unexpected quarters, take you by surprise or creep up on you, but if you sit by waiting for it to happen it probably wont.

You need to get out, talk and meet people - either at work or socially or through websites like this or Gaydar. But this is slightly different from saying you are actively looking for a relationship - sometimes this approach - if vocalised too much - can put off people.

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