Poll: Dating: when to tell about hiv (75 votes)

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Topic started by Patrick Says Free Your Neck (think.up)

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A topic from Love, Sex & Relationships: Relationships

think.upFri 15/06/07 00:36

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This is a single option poll: "Hello people. Well, HIV-negative people, more specifically. (HIV+ gals and guys - please don't vote, but your comments are welcome.) Imagine, if you will, that you've decided to go on a date with someone. You really like them, you start to dream secretly that this could go far. Unbeknownst to you, she/he has to tell you that she/he is HIV positive. At what stage, in your ideal world, would you prefer to have this little bombshell delivered to you?"

  • Before the first date, so I can wriggle out of it.: 5 votes
  • Before the first date, so I can deal with the shock in private, then go ahead: 16 votes
  • During the first date, while we're still getting to know basics about one another: 5 votes
  • After the first date, so it's not a 'label' - but before first sex: 44 votes
  • After second date, but before first sex: 0 votes
  • After sex is fine, so long as he ensures we're really safe: 0 votes
  • After a month or so - I never really assumed either way, anyhow: 4 votes
  • I'd rather not know and not have to deal with it.: 1 vote

deleted:ajblueeyesFri 15/06/07 00:39

 

I prefer people that are honest about things at the beginning so I can make an informed decision, but whether a guy was HIV+ or not wouldn't be the deciding factor on whether I went on a date with that guy or not, it'd be if I liked the guy and we got on

deleted:foxyFri 15/06/07 00:44

 

I think that people should be upfront and honest - from the start.

Certainly, it's going to be hard for someone who's HIV positive to disclose this.

They may get rejected immediately or shortly afterwards. But truths come out sooner or later.

And in addition, honesty is always the best policy.

To be honest, if a potential partner/boyfriend told me they were positive, I'd (again being honest about it) probably run a mile or ten.

Maybe I've got a bit of growing/maturing to do.

deleted:foxyFri 15/06/07 00:46

 

Further to my posting above...

Having said all that, love can be a very strange, powerful thing and I'm not sure that someone who I liked would automatically get the auto-reject thang.

I'd want them to be honest with me though. Without the honest and upfront approach, any relationship would be built on quicksand - and that wouldn't be good.

think.upFri 15/06/07 00:48

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Honest is good!

We are all growing, and experiencing & dealing with life's various issues in a different order from the next person. So it doesn't mean you're immature, to admit that a serodiscordant relationship is something you couldn't cope with. There are probably other areas of life where you're way more experienced than the average.

Thank you for saying what you think :-)

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