Gay marriages have "less conflict" than straight

tavdyThu 12/06/08 06:24

"Gay Unions Shed Light on Gender in Marriage

For insights into healthy marriages, social scientists are looking in an unexpected place.

A growing body of evidence shows that same-sex couples have a great deal to teach everyone else about marriage and relationships. Most studies show surprisingly few differences between committed gay couples and committed straight couples, but the differences that do emerge have shed light on the kinds of conflicts that can endanger heterosexual relationships.

The findings offer hope that some of the most vexing problems are not necessarily entrenched in deep-rooted biological differences between men and women. And that, in turn, offers hope that the problems can be solved.

Next week, California will begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, reigniting the national debate over gay marriage. But relationship researchers say it also presents an opportunity to study the effects of marriage on the quality of all relationships.

'When I look at what's happening in California, I think there's a lot to be learned to explore how human beings relate to one another,' said Sondra E. Solomon, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Vermont. 'How people care for each other, how they share responsibility, power and authority — those are the key issues in relationships.'

The stereotype for same-sex relationships is that they do not last. But that may be due, in large part, to the lack of legal and social recognition given to same-sex couples. Studies of dissolution rates vary widely.

After Vermont legalized same-sex civil unions in 2000, researchers surveyed nearly 1,000 couples, including same-sex couples and their heterosexual married siblings. The focus was on how the relationships were affected by common causes of marital strife like housework, sex and money.

Notably, same-sex relationships, whether between men or women, were far more egalitarian than heterosexual ones. In heterosexual couples, women did far more of the housework; men were more likely to have the financial responsibility; and men were more likely to initiate sex, while women were more likely to refuse it or to start a conversation about problems in the relationship. With same-sex couples, of course, none of these dichotomies were possible, and the partners tended to share the burdens far more equally..."

For the rest of the article go to:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/10/health/10well.html?_r=2&sq=Gay%20Unions%20Shed%20Light%20on%20Gender%20&st=nyt&oref=slogin&scp=1&pagewanted=print&oref=slogin

edison_carterThu 12/06/08 06:39

Last month it was 'straight marriages have "less conflict" than gay', 'This month its 'gay marriages have "less conflict" than straight', and I daresay say next month it''ll be 'straight marriages have "less conflict" than gay'

I just find it irritating that often I'm made to feel that I have to be in competition all the time, especially as more and more so called 'rights' are finally, and graciously being bestowed upon the likes of me.