Why can't meeting for a pint just be that?

vauxhall_guyTue 10/06/08 08:27

Well, I have been chatting to this guy for a week or so, which never really went into the sexual stuff of things. Besides, he has a boyfriend, and I don't do boyfriends. Well, unless that boyfriend is my own boyfriend, of cause.

So we got to that stage that we chatted about meeting face to face for a pint at my local gay bar last night. I also got a call from someone I like and invited him along. Well, I told him that I was going to be at the Bar Code in Vauxhall, and if he would like to see me, he could come there and join me for a drink.
When it be came clear that both guy were there to meet me, one of them, the one with boyfriend, became rather upset, be cause he thought it was a date t hat would lead to more then just a beer.

Why is it that if you say to a guy "Lets meet for a beer" he automatically assumes that that will be an invite into my bedroom? Why can't a gay man ask another gay man out for a pint and really mean for a pint?

jacksparrowTue 10/06/08 08:29

quoting > "Why is it that if you say to a guy "Lets meet for a beer" he automatically assumes that that will be an invite into my bedroom? Why can't a gay man ask another gay man out for a pint and really mean for a pint?"

Because when meeting a stranger who you've only just started talking to on the Internet there is no such thing as "just meeting for a beer".

agymmyTue 10/06/08 08:31

quoting > "Well, I have been chatting to this guy for a week or so, which never really went into the sexual stuff of things. Besides, he has a boyfriend, and I don't do boyfriends. Well, unless that boyfriend is my own boyfriend, of cause.
"

quoting > "vauxhall_guy"

Vauxhall guy, come no now... Is this person from gydar?

vauxhall_guyTue 10/06/08 08:33

No, he wasn't from gaydar, or any other cruising site... Plus I already made it clear that I wasn't interested in anything else then a meet up for a pint be cause this guy is in a relationship.

finalfrontier1976Tue 10/06/08 08:35

Well, in my own experience a pint has just been that, unless I've made it clear it's a date. Don't ask but I do manage to clarify the 2 things. I've had almost a perfect record, had one person who was attracted to me but I wasn't. I simply said thanks but I wasn't interested. He cut off contact completely, however that was his decision. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.

quoting > "Is this person from gydar?"

Hmm, is he?

#202651Tue 10/06/08 08:35

quoting > "Because when meeting a stranger who you've only just started talking to on the Internet there is no such thing as "just meeting for a beer".
"

I always make it clear to people that I'm an old fashioned kind of chap and that I prefer to meet for a drink and to get to know someone before I drop my trousers.

agymmyTue 10/06/08 08:36

quoting > "jacksparrow"

"Because when meeting a stranger who you've only just started talking to on the Internet there is no such thing as "just meeting for a beer".

thats rubbish in my opinion... Meeting for a beer is just that, if you say lets meet for a date, then thats when it may cross the line but how dare that other guy want to date another guy when he's with someone...(

agymmyTue 10/06/08 08:39

quoting > ""vauxhall_guy""

Just asking thats all...

You appear to be frustrated at the dating game and meeting mates as it is..

Get rid of him and I am afraid that other guy is partly correct (my apologies sent).. you have to make it clearer that a beer means beer only!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finalfrontier1976Tue 10/06/08 08:39

quoting > "Besides, he has a boyfriend, and I don't do boyfriends. Well, unless that boyfriend is my own boyfriend, of cause. "

Oh, sorry I must have missed that bit. I don't blame you for thinking that, I don't either, my golden rule is never interfere with married men or men who are in relationships. I've had ex's of mine sleep around behind my back and I think no, I couldn't sleep with one partner knowing how I felt when I found out, I think it's cruel. If you want to play about then end the relationship. I would have more respect for a bf if he told me he wanted to end it for that reason. Hurt, yes but I'd have respect he didn't do it behind my back and ended it first.

agymmyTue 10/06/08 08:44

quoting > "Oh, sorry I must have missed that bit. I don't blame you for thinking that, I don't either, my golden rule is never interfere with married men or men who are in relationships. I've had ex's of mine sleep around behind my back and I think no, I couldn't sleep with one partner knowing how I felt when I found out, I think it's cruel. If you want to play about then end the relationship. I would have more respect for a bf if he told me he wanted to end it for that reason. Hurt, yes but I'd have respect he didn't do it behind my back and ended it first."

quoting > "finalfrontier1976"

I couldny agree more.. why is it people seem to think it is ok to sleep with a guy that is married or with someone.. my mate goes cruszing as he seems to think its ok to have oral with a guy who has aring on his finger.. we have had many a row about morals etc...

jacksparrowTue 10/06/08 08:53

quoting > "thats rubbish in my opinion... Meeting for a beer is just that, if you say lets meet for a date, then thats when it may cross the line but how dare that other guy want to date another guy when he's with someone..."

That's very naive.

You're right of course it should only be about having a beer but it is rarely that simple - most guys never vocalise their true intentions - sex.

If you'd been chatting to a chap for just a week, and he tells you he has a bf and you don't and you suggest meeting for a pint and he says yes then, because I am a horrible and deeply cynical person, I would presume he was looking for a little extra-curricular activity.

And in this instance it seems my hunch would be correct....

agymmyTue 10/06/08 08:56

quoting > "jacksparrow"

"And in this instance it seems my hunch would be correct...", If you read what I said after I posted that comment.. you will see I apologised and said you were partly corrent...

wobertwabbitTue 10/06/08 09:05

Well some gay guy invented the translation gay code word book that some mo's must have read or something as once I invited a gay guy ( who I thought was a friend ) over for pizza and a DVD but according to him that meant sex for afters, but after he was rejected from pouncing on me he realised that not all the statements in the book he read were all entirely true or factual! Ha!

jacksparrowTue 10/06/08 09:05

quoting > "you will see I apologised and said you were partly corrent..."

Partly? Oh I think we can do better than that...

agymmyTue 10/06/08 09:07

quoting > "acksparrow"

"Partly? Oh I think we can do better than that...".. Me thinks ur pushing ur luck... remember, its my opinion only....

xx