Pigeon Holes!

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Topic started by Eclectic Mix (satinabed)

I am a well educated/cultured professional with a Boyfriend whom I love and adore, my sense of humour is very broad and I strive to be non-judgemental. I'm always looking to make new and interesting friends to add to the eclectic mix.

A topic from Fun: Miscellaneous

satinabedSat 26/01/08 23:45

Eh? You what? Pigeon Holes, what's that all about then? Well, since you ask, I've noticed, recently, how I've neglected to Pigeon Hole some of my newer friends.

For donkey's years, now, I've kept all my friends seperate from each other. Eg: College friends, work friends, close friends, ex-boyfriends, Arty friends, etc. I am lucky, though, that I have a large circle of friends (84 phone numbers on my SIM card, plus work/miscellaneous numbers) of different races, backgrounds, tastes and genders but the only thing ALL of them have in common is their friendship with me.

My BEST friend (Paula, nearlly 5yrs as friends) hasn't met my Best gay friend (Neil, almost 8yrs as friends). He's not met any of my ex-boyfriends (neither when I was with them or since splitting up). My academic friends don't meet with my shopping friends and so on and so forth.

Why don't I allow my friends to meet? It ALWAYS ends in disaster, with me being forced to sit on the fence because I don't want to lose anyone's friendship.

Well, lately, I've made two new great friends. One on-line and one purely by chance. And, as I'm not getting any younger, I thought it might be nice if they met up so that we could do things as a group. That's where the problems started. The friend I met on-line has a boyfriend, the friend I met by chance hopes to be my boyfriend (watch this space). The on-line friend and I share many interests, we've met. He's been to mine for meals and I've been to his for meals. Where as, the 'by chance' friend and I also share many interests. One would think it easy for all four of us to find some common ground on which to meet. Err, no!

So, rather than choose between my friends, I've decided to Pigeon Hole them both. That way, one evening I can talk art or sci-fi with the 'by chance' friend and on another evening I can talk gardening or Musical theatre with the on-line friend.

What scares me most is if/when I meet someone whom I want to marry/live with long term. Getting any friends together for a house warming or a civil partnership will be a nightmare because the only thing all of them have in common is being my friend! Unless, ofcourse, I lock them all in a room together, ply them with alcohol (I'm tea total but have heard Special Brew can make anyone chatty after six cans) and let them fight to the death.

Oh, and one further admission, if I spend longer than nine hours with any of my friends, I begin to grow tired of them. I can't help it. They all expect me to be the 'most sparkling' version of me, no matter how down they, or I, might be feeling. Being perky, for long periods, is tyring. Much like a celebrity must feel when asked to spend the day with a besotted fan whose won a competition to meet them. I hope I'll, one day, feel differently when I meet a man I'll want to marry but, even then, I'll still need to have my independance and seperate hobbies/career.

Your thoughts on Pigeon Holes please...

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