Glaswegian Humour

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A topic from Fun: Miscellaneous

homo_superiorTue 16/10/07 20:24

These are nicknames in use that have been given to Glasgow characters by their friends and workmates.

Two Soups - his real name is Campbell Baxter.

Norrie Two Bunnets - the Glasgow taxi-driver who wears a wig under
his cloth cap.

The Colostomy - the girlfriend of a married man (ie. the wee bag on
the side).

The Boomerang Kid - whenever anyone at work asks a question, he
always replies: 'I'll get back to you on that.'

The Man from Del Monte - purportedly a ladies' man, but everyone
suspects it's the fruits that make him say: 'Yes!'

The Parachute - lets everyone down at the last minute.

Cashline - an experienced young lass who's open 24 hours a day.

Vaseline - his real name is Willie Burns.

Rembrandt - loves saying to colleagues: 'Let me put you in the
picture...'

Bernard Caliper - a keen golfer with a leg iron.

Bo Derek - a chap called Derek with terrible body odour.

Brewer's Droop - his real name is Willie Falls.

Elmer - according to his mates, this guy is a real Fudd.

Harvey Smith - a skinflint who regularly enjoys a clear round at the
bar.

The Genie - magically appears whenever anyone opens a bottle.

The Marksman - when it's his turn to buy a round, he always shoots
the craw

Dulux - his pals reckon he's only got one coat.

Polyfilla - his real name is Phil McCracken.

The Mounty - whenever there's a carry-out on the go, he always gets
his can

Soapy - washes his hands of any problems that crop up.

Captain Hook - continually late for work, it's believed he must be
scared of the alarm clock.

Wolfy - fond of a right good bevvy, he's always howling.

The Yeti - always on the sick, there have been many unconfirmed
sightings of this guy, but nobody can prove he actually exists.

The Gas Man - he's serviced loads of old boilers.

Charlton Heston - an incredibly slow fitter who turns every job into
an epic.

The Hostage - when anyone asks for help he always replies: 'Sorry, my
hands are tied.

The Chernobyl Jannie - during the mid-Eighties this guy had a really
bad complexion.

The Woodpecker - he's always tapping.

Mussolini - a woman in an office in Glasgow who has rather loose
morals (aka the great dicktaker)

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