Dear Dog...

Go to: Forums > Fun: Miscellaneous

There are 6 postings to this topic on our Member website and this page runs 7 days behind our Member website. For the full topic click to sign up to OUTeverywhere.

Topic started by Dan - Meanwhile Back In Reality... (dtm)

I'd let my friends describe me but I daren't.... they've too much pay back to give. My humour while lively and warped (some say 'eeeviiil'), has gotten me into (good) trouble more times than I care to mention. My personality is diverse, or thats what the voices in my head say. I've even been known to start unbelievable rumours though if you believe them, you must be as warped as me!

A topic from Fun: Miscellaneous

dtmTue 13/11/07 00:32

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine attendance
is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3. Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need a "gazillion" pounds for college.

And finally,

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

There are 5 more postings on this topic on our Member website. For the full topic click to sign up to OUTeverywhere right now.

Enjoy chatting with our members

Imagine joining a social network of people from all around the country and see how you'll feel a year from today. You're increasing your circle of friends. You're doing more of the stuff you enjoy. You're having a great time meeting new people in your area. You're seeing all the benefits of becoming a member of OUTeverywhere. It still feels great making new friends and every day you're hearing more and more about the stuff that everyone's doing. You're joining in. Now, that was easy, wasn't it?

We make meeting people easy. Click to sign up to OUTeverywhere and get up and do something different!

PLEASE NOTE: Events are listed on this website on behalf of organisers in accordance with the Terms of Membership of OUTeverywhere and only if they have chosen broad publicity when adding their event to the Member Events calendar. As such, events are not necessarily affiliated to or endorsed by OUTeverywhere and may not be organised by the person who has listed the event: the person listing this event may simply be attending an event organised by another person or organisation and may wish to meet other people sharing their interest in the event. The mention or appearance of any person or organisation featured on these pages is not to be taken as any indication of sexual, social or political orientation of such persons or organisations. We cannot guarantee that the information is accurate and recommend that you always seek to contact the organiser directly to confirm full details of any event. Under no circumstances will we be responsible for any loss or damage resulting from reliance on, use or misuse of, the information on this website.

Our Vision | Our Team | Privacy Policy | Identity Theft Protection | Terms of Membership

Chat and Meet People

Enter one or two words to tell us something you enjoy:

Or enter a postcode or the name of a place:

Latest Shout OUT

Broadcast to the gay world with our public Shout OUTs service! Post on our member website or from your mobile phone and raise your profile.

Paul J (agymmy) from the Newton Le Willows area in United Kingdom shouts OUT: "Please sponsor me or wish me luck for tomorrow?"

Events Calendar

< May 2008 >
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
				1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29	30	31

This Topic's Tags

Members tag topics with key words to help us find similar topics.

Discover GMEET

Add all your web profiles to the new GMEET.com website profiles directory service. Supports Facebook, YouTube, MySpace, Bebo, LinkedIn and dozens more. For social and business networking, web personals and online dating.