Oh my GOD, my personal trainer just came out to me

snoboardrWed 09/06/10 15:52

There's a clue in the topic title - it wasn't as gay, he told me about his strong and somewhat fundamentalist religious views... particularly that evolution is just a theory and, while it may be true with animals, humans were made this way by God. We don't have spines that support us being upright because we once walked dragging our knuckles like apes and have gradually started walking upright, no that's insane. We don't have certain leg muscle characteristics that make us able to sprint away fast because that part is on the same evolutionary chain as a gazelle, no that's just bonkers. We're the perfect biological, chemical and physical machine with a super-sophisticated brain and emotions because God made us that way. We certainly didn't evolve, even if anything else did. Oh, and of course homosexuality doesn't exist as God wouldn't create humans that didn't procreate. Yes, even that came up fairly soon into our little between-sets chat.

Now, I should point out some background info that may or may not (obviously) be relevant - he's young, only 22 years old, he's not your usual personal trainer in that he's very academic and takes an utterly scientific approach to the body and to training, he's got a BSc and MSc in the more academic, medical and scientific end of studying the body, biodynamics and whatnot, and he trains a professional UK sports team... but although he considers himself a 'scientist', he doesn't believe in evolution, believes every God other than 'his' Christian God is a 'fake' God around the edges all just based on the one God at the core of everything, his Christian God.

I really have no issue with people who have beliefs that are so opposed to the ones I have.. and he wasn't trying to convert me at all - it just came up in conversation - but now I'm left wondering whether I should tell him I'm gay. And, no, I'm pretty sure he hasn't sussed and I've never mentioned it because it's just not really ever come up. I've always thought I'd slip it in if given the opportunity (as it were). We mainly talk about my training programme or stuff to do with the body; though we've developed pretty good rapport over the last couple of months (I see him 4 times a week) and generally chit-chat about all sorts in my rests now.

So do I just say "Look, while we've got your Book of Revelation open, I'm a big poof" and let him tell me that I'm pretending and should seek mental help (or whatever he believes - I didn't push the whole gay thing, I was paying for the session!). Or do I take the view that it's a professional business-like relationship and keep it trainer/client and just not get into these sort of conversations (I generally have avoided bringing up religion or politics!).

In general I've always said that gay people should come out, particularly to people like this, because the more people who know gay people, the better society will be and the more accepted being gay will be. But where do you start with someone with such religious views, so fundamentalist on stuff like evolution, and who actively believes homosexuality is, well, not wrong, but just doesn't exist and folk are deluding themselves? Am I being hypocritical by taking the selfish view that I don't want him to 'refer me' to a different trainer or indeed stupid that I'm happy to keep giving him money when I know his personal view on a particular topic that's very close to my being.

I really don't have any general issue with someone with those views - I know some people here would probably spit on him or just be unable to pay him for professional services knowing what he believes, seeking to get a different trainer or whatever. But, those who've had one-on-one tuition in anything will know that personal chemistry does come into things and I do actually respect his approach hugely; it's very different to whole swathes of personal trainers who have no scientific, medical or academic research or knowledge behind them in terms of how they approach fitness. And if he wants to believe that, that's up to him. I have a very live and let live approach so long as nobody's getting hurt - but the drama of course is that his approach *does* involve people getting hurt, indirectly, as it fuels homophobia.

What would you do?

<gulp>