My dad's death an update

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Topic started by An ex-member of OUT (deleted:tattman)

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A topic from Love, Sex & Relationships: Family Issues

deleted:tattmanTue 08/01/08 22:08

Well here goes, don't know if you recall I found out my dad had died on November 22nd on Christmas eve. My stepmum claims she had tried to contact me (now know this was a lie!)

Ok I was never close to him, but at least I deserved to know about it and attend the funeral!

So yesterday I travelled hundreds of miles to see to find out more and get to see his grave/ashes!

Anyway I am back home and I am worn out and feel quite low for a number of reasons!

No1) Christmas was supposed to spent with my ex, we had been getting on so so well! Anyway something happened I had an outburst and it didn;t happen!

No2) Dad

No3) the response I got on Boxing Day from my stepmum and her saying that I knew nothing of loss and how my mum had caused so much trouble and then slagged her off (shes been dead 17years!)

Despite all that I found the courage and the money (that I don't have!) to travel 3 hours by two trains to the nearest town where my dad lived.

Called her from the station, I didn;t tell her I was coming because I knew she'd find excuses for me not to come! Anyway she refused to see me saying I don't care how far you have travelled you are not wanted here. I said Well tell me where my dad is buried then! She says he was cremated and then hung up!

So I decided to stay at this place more expense that don;t have and thought I will try again tomorrow and just turn up at the bungalow.

So this morning I took a bus then a taxi to the place where she lives in the middle of nowhere (Holbeach Hurn!) The gate to was locked and I attempted to climb the gate and a man approached and challenged me.

I said I am.... He said I know who you are and she will not see and call the police if attempt to climb the gate or approach the bungalow.

So I went away to rethink my approach, came back called her and said that you know I am outside, I know you are in, I know you are worried (fella told me that) please I just want to see his ashes, I will wait here for 15 minutes if you change your mind come out.

Ten mins go by, same guy comes out and says she willnot see you she has called her solicitor and you have no LEGAL rights to see your dads ashes........

He also told me that DID NOT try to contact me about my dad (So she lied to me!) and that he was sorry and thought it was wrong of her.

Anyway I left got to Peterborough early and it was £40 to upgrade my ticket too expensive so had a 3 hour wait for my train.

Added to that the one thing I was looking forward to tomorrow as it was something for me, (a nice healing session) Well that was cancelled as she can't do it.......

I'm trying to stay focued and positive but it is just so tough at the moment....

I so need some good news!

JAke x

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