Just found out my dad died in NOVEMBER!

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Topic started by An ex-member of OUT (deleted:tattman)

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A topic from Love, Sex & Relationships: Family Issues

deleted:tattmanTue 25/12/07 09:06

I will set the scene a little, I grew up in care and had some contact with both my Mum and Dad whilst I was in care. My Mum died in 1990. Now my relationship with my father has never been great.

He's quite old fashioned (emotionally!) We fell out about 1989 (Christmas time) because I tried to contact them and they percieved it that I was after money!

I re contacted them in 1997 and I was writing mainly to my step mum (another old fashioned type emotionally!)

I only saw him once in 2005, whenever I suggested I visit agian it was never convienent.

Anyway When I had my awful year last year when I split with my Partner (still love him!)

I moved to the North, got a house then a job etc...

Anyway last Christmas I had a phonecall to ask why I hadn't told them I had recived the present, anyway the present came with a letter saying that I have to be sensible work hard or I wil lose my home, I shouldn;t go out, go on holiday etc....

So I wrote to them to say That I'd prefer of they had actually acknowledged that I have done well. Let alone dealing with beig in care but having moved to the other side of teh country, finding a house and a job.

Anyway I didn't hear anything from them at all year despite several letters from me.

So I have an answerphone message on Thursday, its my stepmum demanding to know why I hadn't picked up the parcel yet!

Anyway I assumed this was a Christms Present.... So I waited until last night to open it.

It was a Watch, I was taken back with the generosity, There was a card and a letter.

Anyway the letter says, I am sorry to inform you that your dad died in November and I did try to contact you!

Now I am shocked obviously, Numb, and angry that I didn't get to go to the funeral.

I mean she claims that she tried to contact me, HOW! he is my DAD! Surely that would warrant a way of telling me, I mean she managed to leave a message on Thirsday! I'm not sure what to do about this! I feel cheated out of at least going to the funeral!

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