New spec for UK APPLE Phones

Go to: Forums > Technology: Apple

There are 5 postings to this topic on our Member website and this page runs 7 days behind our Member website. For the full topic click to sign up to OUTeverywhere.

A topic from Technology: Apple

#197100Wed 07/11/07 13:53

THE British version of the Apple iPhone will come with an inbuilt stiff upper lip, a sense of fair play - and racism.

Apple has loaded all UK phones with its new iMigrant® software which makes the handset and its user immediately suspicious of anyone from abroad who looks and talks funny.

If used by anyone who speaks foreign or uses heavily accented English the iMigrant® application will report their whereabouts to the Home Office and local fire bombing vigilantes.

Steve Jobs, Apple CEO, said: 'These people come over here, clean our toilets and drive our buses. Now they want our phones too. On the NHS.

'Why can't they stay put and talk to each other in their own stupid languages instead of coming over here and blowing themselves up and fixing my car?'

While the added racism is bound to make the iPhone a huge hit there are doubts over whether Apple has built enough specially modified British versions to meet demand.

According to leaks posted in Apple chatrooms this week the company has only shipped 10,000 iPhones fitted with right-hand drive to Britain ahead of this Friday's launch.

Once these are gone customers will be forced to accept left-hand drive phones originally intended for the continent, even though they are not legal for use on British roads because their headlights dazzle other drivers.

Chris Nuts, an early adopter of Basildon, Essex, said: 'Apple is saying I can fix this easy by buying headlamp stickers from Halfords. Is it a Paki shop?'

Robert Kilgour, a glasses wearer also of Basildon, said: 'What happens if I get a wop phone and all it does is stink of grease and want to sleep with my sister?'

Daniel Craddock, an amateur pornographer, also of Basildon, said: 'Every iPhone gets a grant for a new car, a five-bedroom house off the council and a million pounds from the lottery. I can't even get me piles done. It's a fucking disgrace.'

There are 4 more postings on this topic on our Member website. For the full topic click to sign up to OUTeverywhere right now.

Enjoy chatting with our members

Imagine joining a social network of people from all around the country and see how you'll feel a year from today. You're increasing your circle of friends. You're doing more of the stuff you enjoy. You're having a great time meeting new people in your area. You're seeing all the benefits of becoming a member of OUTeverywhere. It still feels great making new friends and every day you're hearing more and more about the stuff that everyone's doing. You're joining in. Now, that was easy, wasn't it?

We make meeting people easy. Click to sign up to OUTeverywhere and get up and do something different!

PLEASE NOTE: Events are listed on this website on behalf of organisers in accordance with the Terms of Membership of OUTeverywhere and only if they have chosen broad publicity when adding their event to the Member Events calendar. As such, events are not necessarily affiliated to or endorsed by OUTeverywhere and may not be organised by the person who has listed the event: the person listing this event may simply be attending an event organised by another person or organisation and may wish to meet other people sharing their interest in the event. The mention or appearance of any person or organisation featured on these pages is not to be taken as any indication of sexual, social or political orientation of such persons or organisations. We cannot guarantee that the information is accurate and recommend that you always seek to contact the organiser directly to confirm full details of any event. Under no circumstances will we be responsible for any loss or damage resulting from reliance on, use or misuse of, the information on this website.

Our Vision | Our Team | Privacy Policy | Identity Theft Protection | Terms of Membership

Chat and Meet People

Enter one or two words to tell us something you enjoy:

Or enter a postcode or the name of a place:

Latest Shout OUT

Broadcast to the gay world with our public Shout OUTs service! Post on our member website or from your mobile phone and raise your profile.

John F (eastlancs) from the Accrington area in United Kingdom shouts OUT: "Not long now before the weekend starts."

Events Calendar

< July 2008 >
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
		1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31

Discover GMEET

Add all your web profiles to the new GMEET.com website profiles directory service. Supports Facebook, YouTube, MySpace, Bebo, LinkedIn and dozens more. For social and business networking, web personals and online dating.